For many young men discerning a vocation to be a Dominican priest or brother, there is a common thought expressed: “Am I worthy?” It’s a natural question to ask, really. The vocation to Holy Orders or to religious life (or both) is a call to serve God in a radical way.
To lay down one’s own life for the sake of others and for Christ is no small thing! Hence, it is not surprising that those in discernment question their worthiness. Most men have struggled with this in their discernment to be a Dominican Friar. More often than we’d like to admit, we’ve wondered whether we’re really qualified for this path to which we feel called.
However, the truth is really good news for those doubting themselves in this regard. As a matter of fact, you could say that God’s answer to the question of our qualifications or worthiness for a vocation to be a priest or a brother is written all over Scripture! But before we get to that, we need to make a basic point: The fact of the matter is that none of us are worthy to serve God; truly, we aren’t worthy to receive anything from God on our own to begin with!
You see, Christianity is all about grace: the undeserved favor that God lavishes on us because He is a merciful God. It is by grace that the call to Christian discipleship and vocation comes to each one of us, whether priest, brother, or any other state of life. God doesn’t call us because we are worthy; He calls us because He is love and created us for the path of our vocation.
This marvelous reality of God’s grace can be found throughout His written Word and the history of the Church. It’s actually a pattern of sorts; that is, God seems to prefer choosing those whom you wouldn’t expect. Some of the greatest figures in Scripture were, by all accounts, very “unworthy” for the role into which God established them. Examples can be found all over the place, but perhaps the best place to look is the men Jesus chose to be His Apostles–men we, as Dominican Friars, seek to emulate.
We can start with Simon Peter, who is, by his own admission, a sinful man (Lk. 5:8) who consistently fails, embarrasses (Mt. 16:21-23), or otherwise denies his Master (Mk. 14:66-72). Andrew, his brother, was a naively pious man (Jn. 6:8-9) who abandons his parents at Jesus’ beck-and-call (Mk. 16:18). James, son of Zebedee, is a hot-head (Mk. 3:17) who gets himself executed pretty much out of the gates (Acts 12:2). His brother, John, isn’t much better; at best, his writings suggest an introverted idealist (cf. Jn. 21:25), and, at worst, a madman with his apocalyptic visions (cf. Rev.).
Philip can’t recognize the Divinity of Jesus after three years (Jn. 14:9), and Nathaniel isn’t favorable toward Nazareth & Gentiles (Jn. 1:46). Thomas refuses to believe in the resurrection (Jn. 20:24-25). Mathew the Levite is a miserly tax-collector and traitor to Israel (Lk. 5:27-32). James, the son of Alpheus, can’t seem to stop observing Torah until well into his old age (Acts 21:17-20). Jude Thaddeus’ best “qualification,” according to hagiographic tradition was that he could farm–there’s a sign of ministerial competence! Topping that, we have Simon the Zealot (Acts 1:13) who–for all we know–murdered Romans and Gentiles before meeting Jesus. Last, but certainly not least, we have Saul of Tarsus, a self-proclaimed “Pharisee of Pharisees” (Acts 23:6; Phil. 3:5) whose hands are stained with the blood of an unknown number of early martyrs (Acts 8:3).
Need we go on about being unworthy?
Because of grace, however, Saul, a.k.a., St. Paul became the messenger of Truth to the Nations, writing almost half of the New Testament. St. Simon the Zealot, alongside St. Jude Thaddeus, created the first Christian nation: Armenia; and then went deep into Zoroaster’s stronghold of Persia. St. James the Less shepherded the young Patriarchate of Jerusalem, Mother of All Churches. St. Matthew, having written his Gospel, preached to the Jews even unto the Caspian Sea.
St. Thomas, though having doubted, brought the light of faith farther than all the others into far India. St. Bartholomew became the first patriarch of the Gentiles of Armenia, whose succession is traced to this day. St. Philip preached with eloquence among Greece and Phrygia’s formidable philosophers; even unto being crucified. St. John stood fearlessly before emperors and kings, kept the New Ark (Our Lady), and finally ended his days having seen the Final Victory with his mystic visions.
St. James the Greater went as far as Spain to the West, bravely called out the wicked Herod, and was therefore first to offer himself as a libation to his Lord. St. Andrew brought Greece the Gospel, journeying north even to ancient Kiev, and finally ended his days on a cross, preaching for two whole days as he hung there. St. Peter, the greatest failure of them all, became the immovable Rock on which the Kingdom of God, the Church, remains firm and never to be moved.
Ultimately, the witnesses of the Apostles (not to mention countless other heroes of Scripture and Tradition) stands to this day as wonderful news to anyone considering a vocation to be a Dominican priest or religious brother. We might argue they were even more unworthy because they walked with Jesus on his earthly mission. They saw his good works and heard his own preaching. Yet, they made terrible mistakes before finally getting their acts together.
God does not call the perfect to serve Him as Dominican Friars. Quite the contrary, He calls those who are unworthy and then makes them worthy by His grace. He does not call the qualified to ministry and contemplation; rather, He qualifies those whom He chooses to call. So, if you are considering a vocation to the Dominican Order as either a priest or brother, but fearful of your worthiness, take heart! You’re in good company.